My daughter was beautiful and sexy and wholly desirable, even beyond my frequent fantasies. Sometime after I’d gotten into my own robe, found an English TV channel and had almost fallen asleep, Ashley came out, shyly, her robe cinched tight and a towel on her head. She announced it was my turn. No comment about her brief over-exposure, but she dared me to figure out how the shower worked without it spraying the whole bathroom like she did. Given the warning, I turned the handheld toward the glass, then got the overhead showerhead going, a kind of rainfall. A hot shower after a long plane ride is among life’s great pleasures. I soaped and rinsed and finally stood dumbly as water cascaded over me. I turned toward the glass. Ashley couldn’t see me clearly, I knew, but looking out from this side, I discovered I could see her just fine. Unaware that she wasn’t the same blur she saw, I guess, she had slipped off her robe and, naked, was putting her things away. She would probably put. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?6. Was learning cursive really necessary?7. Map Quest or Google Maps really need to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.10. Bad decisions make good stories.11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blu-Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection ... again.13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any.
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